I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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