New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize