Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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