But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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