clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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