is your mom at the bar?
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
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Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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