Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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