So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize