u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize