I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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