Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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