i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
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thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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