If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
birth control should be required to get into college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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