Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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