The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize