So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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