After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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