Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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