ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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