Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize