Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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