All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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