at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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