last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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