Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.

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(925): My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over. http://tfl.nu/xmqi

Replies (1) Good night (1480) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry

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(919): Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry http://tfl.nu/e19m

Replies (7) Good night (832) Bad night (2047) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

you smoke with your eyes?

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(203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7

Replies (8) Good night (2237) Bad night (972)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Update, blind date is cute and fun.

(248): View more from Michigan

Scratch that, blind date just threw up.

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(248): Update, blind date is cute and fun. (248): Scratch that, blind date just threw up. http://tfl.nu/ooba

Replies (10) Good night (525) Bad night (3855)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back

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(+44): Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back http://tfl.nu/tdhe

Replies (12) Good night (803) Bad night (4423) Order T-Shirt
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(618): View more from Illinois

Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.

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(618): Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it. http://tfl.nu/ym59

Replies (6) Good night (2293) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"

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(207): That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain" http://tfl.nu/84lt

Replies (3) Good night (1387) Bad night (703)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20

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(651): I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20 http://tfl.nu/s3lf

Replies (3) Good night (1965) Bad night (722)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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(734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy

Replies (3) Good night (1298) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?

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(856): I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong? http://tfl.nu/uyqh

Replies (2) Good night (1269) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST

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(757): HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST http://tfl.nu/fouh

Replies (4) Good night (440) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs

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(707): After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs http://tfl.nu/t3em

Replies (6) Good night (1746) Bad night (425)
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(619): View more from California

But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.

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(619): But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection. http://tfl.nu/g9u5

Replies (18) Good night (612) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY

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(513): Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY http://tfl.nu/rc9r

Replies (7) Good night (883) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare

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(516): I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare http://tfl.nu/2gb3

Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (135) Order T-Shirt

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