I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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