just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
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If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
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I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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