I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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