You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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