dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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