My friends, they love my intelligence
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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