Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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