i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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