well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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