this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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