Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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