Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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