Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize