So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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