I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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