So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize