It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize