Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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