is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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