He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and she was petting her beer can
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize