Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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