Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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