you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize