just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize