At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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